Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Frivolous, Fallacious Fellowship of Females

Don't you just LOVE alliterations?? I do! I enjoy them so much so that I have a smile on my face even though I am about to rant a little bit.

The Female Gender.

Why do girls love drama so much? I have tried to solve this dilemma since my first female "bestie" bested me out of a puppy love interest in middle school. Did the little slut like him? Not really. She just got close to me to get to him (he happened to be a good male friend to me at the time.)
All my life, I have had girls come into my life only to stab me in the back and start dramatic trends that would take years of therapy to get past if I didn't possess such a strong will.

Bullshit is bullshit my sisters. Just Cut It.

Today's post is a bit of a rant followed by some sound advice that I have acquired by experience first hand in the matters of drama dealing. If you have no mind to read my personal vendettas, then skip to the end. I will not be offended, trust me. :)

Here is a list of females of the adult variety that have been really close to me that have screwed me over whilst masked in the name of friendship: (I shall leave out names for reasons of decency, but you know who you are...)

Female roomate A: Moved in with me into my first apartment shortly after my guy roomie (who was AWESOME) moved out. Mind you, she had a destructive relationship with an abusive boyfriend and the way she was on the mend in her own life was that the bastard was thankfully in jail... until months later I find out from fucking female's Mom that "He's in the room with her! Omg he's back! Aren't you excited??) Hell. No. I'm furious. She hid him from me in OUR apt. for three days and neglected to inform me of said assholes return to the land of the free. Not acceptable. After I found out, I drove in a furious frenzy over to my bf's house to cool off (otherwise I would have capped the bitch for lying to me) for a day or so then upon returning to my compromised abode informed said female she had 24 hours to vacate the premises. (More like yelled some profanities along the lines of 'Get the F*** out of my house you ****ing ****!') Yeah, I paid over $1300 in cancellation fees for breaking my lease. Oh, did I mention she also tried to have sex with my possible boyfriend interest on my bed two months before that?

Female roomate B: Long story short. Also abusive relationship with her bf. Instead of hitting her though, he liked to punch holes in walls, in OUR apt. that I was also paying rent on. Thankfully, I was in really good with my own boyfriend at the time and stayed the majority of the time at his house. This "bestie" I found out months after breaking another lease on an apt with yet another destructive female, had only become my friend after she did in fact sleep with my boyfriend of the time at a house party when I went out of town for a weekend. I find this out a year later of course from her ex (the wall puncher). Aren't women grand?

The kicker~Most recent Ex-Best-Friend: I won't go into too much detail on this one, again for reasons of keeping some measure of decency on my part while slamming another person on the internet,and also since this wound is so new. Another long story short, this gal was on my bestie wagon for about 4-5 years. She definitely won the award for female companionship, and I thought I had finally found someone I could let down the walls for and trust. WRONG, again. After years of me helping said female with self-esteem issues and continuous problems in the male department (she had several, believe you me, like a ton) and what seemed like eons of being the Knight in Shinning Armor Best Friend, swooping in and saving her from sticky situations... Again I am faced with none other than the dramatic behind-the-back-talk and *whispers* from my favorite female come to mine ears to revel her true nature. After years of thinking someone was truly my friend, I find out that her true opinions of me where absolute bs, from several sources mind you (don't shit where you sleep, fyi), all the while she has been taking advantage of my good nature in trying to help her better her own situations. She also lied to me about several things, the big one got me when she implored me to keep secrets about her affairs of the sexual nature to two different men (both of which were friends of mine, ugh) all the while I find out she is lying to me about sleeping with a third male. Furious much? Here I am tearing my hair out at trying to keep girl code and all the while having a conscience full of demons for lying to two good guy friends of mine about the actions of my so called best friend, and she lies to me. Tit for Tat I guess. And of course, more ****-talk on her part comes to light before I decide to block her number and write her out of my life because I honestly have no desire to hear her spin more lies and excuses trying to explain herself. Instead of listening to said sob stories, which I put up with for years every time we got into a spat-I always forgave her, I rather imparted a little debauchery of my own and go to all said males and inform them that they may want to wash their privates more efficiently because she likes to play house calls in the same day. A little bitchy on my part, yes I know, but I think I deserved a little crack of my own after that whopper. Years of lying and deceit, no more thank you. I think I am done. Now, thankfully, she is out of sight, out of mind, and the world of me is much more sane and pleasant. Did I mention it took her weeks after we "broke up" to move her car from my apt. complex? Still trying to take advantage. Poison, I tell you. Toxic female.

I am sure that each and every one of you, whether male or female, has had some ridiculous female drama of your own, and can sympathize with my situations and my reasoning for having my defenses so high when it comes to members of my own gender. I have no patience for female drama. Take your sob stories somewhere else girls, because this is one fed up lady. If you ask me for advice, I will listen with an open heart and sincere ear, and proceed to give the best advice I can offer, but if you deny to take action on said advice, get hurt again, and come crying to me about it, Again, prepare to have a door slammed in your face. I'm not being mean, but grow the f*** up and handle your own problems like an adult. *rant* If you are unable to handle your own life, don't even think of bringing it to my door.

Stepping off my soap box and semi-indecent display of "Look at what these bitches did to me!" I shall revert back to the Purpose of this Post in the Present *Squee*:
1. Women, for the most part, are not as honest as you may think they are. Sorry, but it is the sad truth.
2. Everyone talks shit about everyone when the curtain is drawn. The difference comes when the shit talking is admitted and forgiveness is requested. Of course, said shit talking must stop in order to be effective.
3. Even after "knowing" someone for years and years, the drama will always ALWAYS destroy whatever connection you think you may have had. Solution: Cut the Drama. Easy Peasy.

I am a no-nonsense kind of girl, and this year is all about me and what I can do to better myself as a person. That includes taking out the trash in my life. Now, granted, there are some females in my life that I would do absolutely anything for, but they are a tiny band of trust-worthies, and I hate to say it, but I fear that the ball will still drop at some point in the future and the drama will catch up with us as well. I pray to the gods that does not come to pass... I don't think my back can handle another stab wound, the others are still pretty raw and fester from time to time.

My advice, make friends, but keep your guard up. You truly never know who is out there to do you harm. The worst hurts can come in the most beautiful packages.

P.S. I was thinking of what I was going to write for today's post last night after conversing with a female I was not on the best of terms with before the night began. Now that the air has been cleared between the two of us, it made me reflect on all the unnecessary wrongs I had incurred by members of the female variety. What sealed the deal on my scribblings was a wake up call this morning from ex-besties bank asking for reference information, no doubt to re-secure her unemployment because she messed up again and they are reviewing her case, Again.
Yeah, I deleted that voicemail.

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