Too Many Syllables

Those that know me on a personal basis are aware of the fact that...

I JUST GOT MARRIED!!! YAY ME!! *He's mine now evil laugh*

It should be noted that my delectable husband and I were engaged for quite a lengthy period of time before saying the vows; about a year and a half. During this time, while I was ECSTATIC to finally be on the happy road to matrimony, I absolutely had the most problem addressing my betrothed as my 'fiance.' Why you ask? Because the word has too many syllables, dammit!

It should also be taken under consideration that my now husband and I courted for a period of just over ten years before finally tying the knot. Yes, we dated for over a damn decade. That's 10 years, or roughly, 120 months, 520 weeks, 3650 days, 87600 hours, 5256000 minutes, and 315360000 seconds of calling him my 'boyfriend.' See? Two syllables. Boy Friend. Easy Peasy!!
That is, until we got engaged, and everyone kept correcting me that he was no longer my easy and comfortable, two syllable, 'boyfriend' any longer, but some frenchy, uptight sounding, way too snazzy for my tastes, three syllable 'fiance.'

W.T.F.

How does one go from being the easy to say and not hoity-toity "Oh, he's my boyfriend, like, you know?" to the utterly stuck up and painful to say, "Daaahling, he's my Fianceeee..." I mean, there's even supposed to be a damn accent on the word! (Thank you, Blogger, for not picking that up!)

My frustration knew no bounds for pretty much our entire engagement as I struggled to conform to societal norms and remember to say this confounded word. At first, it was pure dumb luck that I forgot to say it. It was easy to get away with the 'boyfriend' slip in the beginning months because we had just got engaged, and old habits die hard, ya know? However, as the months passed, I found it harder and harder to use that excuse as people expected me to be familiar and comfortable with my new arrangement, at least enough to change his status while talking about him. Jeez people! It's a long and annoying word! ...So, I tried it a few times, and even pretended to swoon to convince people that I was excited about the dribble language coming out of my mouth. (Mind you, I was indeed SO FUCKING EXCITED TO FINALLY BE GETTING MARRIED!!! Make no mistake about that! It's just the wording that got in the way...)

I find myself thinking of that riveting season-ending episode of "Supernatural" when Castiele is about to smite Michael before the apocalypse takes over the world, and what phrase does he use to get the Archangel's attention??  "Hey! Ass-Butt!"

Yeah, that's about how I felt every time I tried to warm up to the word 'fiance...'
Ass-Butt.

Here's a little etymology information on my most loathed word, as I am frustrated with it so, I must know where the confounded thing comes from...
Basically, 'fiance' is a French word for 'betrothed.' 'Fiance' being the male equivalent and 'fiancee' being the female. You can even doll it up and put an accent on the 'e' to make it look purty.
'Betrothed.'
I would have MUCH rather have said that word. At least it doesn't sound like you slapped someone while they were saying something: "Fians.. *slap* HEY!"

By and by, I finally gave up on trying to conform to society's norms and kept referring to the man as my boyfriend, and when people got in a huff about it, I simply said, "It's too many dang syllables."
It's odd how quick that shut most people up.
Smile and nod.

Now I am sitting extremely smug in content land as I no longer have to banter with horrible words to refer to my HUSBAND. God, I love that word. Simple, direct, to the point. Husband. So much love in that one word.
Say it with me, 'Husband.' ...Doesn't that just make you smile?
See? Easy Peasy.
It's all in the syllables.

The Squirrely Day that Only Comes Around Every 4 Years!

Yup, you guessed it! Today is February 29th! Happy Leap Year Day!!!

As some of you may already know, I have a minor obsession with holidays, weird holidays, and general histories and fun fact about abnormal days that occur in our human existence. I never got these stories growing up, but now thanks to the wonderful powers of the almighty interwebs, HUZZAH! Information widely, and worldly available!

Most everyone does know the reason behind leap year. But, jut in case you live under a rock, but happen to have internet access and are reading my blog, According to my trusty wiki:

"In the Gregorian calendar, the current standard calendar in most of the world, most years that are evenly divisible by 4 are leap years. In each leap year, the month of February has 29 days instead of 28. Adding an extra day to the calendar every four years compensates for the fact that a period of 365 days is shorter than a solar year by almost 6 hours."

Yes, indeed, most everyone in the US of A knows this little bit of info as to the why of the extra day in the month of Feb. But, has anyone ever wondered if there were some crazy traditions that surround this day? Why, yes, I sure do!!! Here's some interesting tidbits to amuse you for the day. You can only do this once every four years, ladies!

"In Britain and Ireland, it is a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years. While it has been claimed that the tradition was initiated by Saint Patrick or Brigid of Kildare in 5th century Ireland, this is dubious, as the tradition has not been attested before the 19th century. Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland (then age five and living in Norway), required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to £1 to a silk gown, in order to soften the blow. In some places the tradition was tightened to restricting female proposals to the modern leap year day, February 29, or to the medieval (bissextile) leap year day, February 24.

According to Felten: "A play from the turn of the 17th century, 'The Maydes Metamorphosis,' has it that 'this is leape year/women wear breeches.' A few hundred years later, breeches wouldn't do at all: Women looking to take advantage of their opportunity to pitch woo were expected to wear a scarlet petticoat—fair warning, if you will."

In Denmark, the tradition is that women may propose on the bissextile leap year day, February 29, and that refusal must be compensated with 12 pairs of gloves.

In Finland, the tradition is that if a man refuses a woman's proposal on leap year day, he should buy her the fabrics for a skirt.

In Greece, marriage in a leap year is considered unlucky. One in five engaged couples in Greece will plan to avoid getting married in a leap year."


Also some info about people with birthdays on Feb. 29th:



"A person born on February 29 may be called a "leapling" or a "leaper". In common years they usually celebrate their birthdays on February 28 or March 1. In some situations, March 1 is used as the birthday in a non-leap year since it is the day following February 28.

Technically, a leapling will have fewer birthday anniversaries than their age in years. This phenomenon is exploited when a person claims to be only a quarter of their actual age, by counting their leap-year birthday anniversaries only. In Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic opera The Pirates of Penzance, Frederic the pirate apprentice discovers that he is bound to serve the pirates until his 21st birthday rather than until his 21st year."


So, if you have been waiting on that oh, so special guy to pop the big question and are getting restless, today is your day to give it a shot! Hey, the worst that can happen is you'll either end up with a kiss, some money, or spanky new threads if he refuses you. Not too shabby!!

And, if you happen to be a Leapling, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Be glad you aren't a Pirate sworn to servitude, especially on my ship...  

~Capt.
m>^.^<m

Fun Fact Info taken from wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_year#Folk_traditions

Change

Yes, change. Everything changes in life: clothes, hair, weight, cars, kids, the planet. But, the change we most seem to recognize is change in other people; mostly the people in our lives that surround us from the day to day. There may be that  acquaintance at work that you never really got to know that got another job and moved on. Your brother got married and moved away so you see very little of him. Friends from high school that were the absolute best of your friends at the time that you can't remember the last time you spoke to ten years later. People are constantly coming in and out of our lives. Why is this?

The answer may be as simple as we are ever changing creatures ourselves. We may not notice it as much because, you know, well, we are looking at ourselves and tend not to notice the little changes that creep in. Your mood may have changed or you adopted a new life attitude and didn't realize it. You started hanging out at a different bar than the regular spot for some fresh feel. You may have picked up a new hobby. Or, even the more subtle, you didn't really change at all except for a tiny fraction of yourself and someone just fazed themselves out of your life. Things don't always happen intentionally, but we do grow apart and evolve. We are the pinnacle of evolution on our planet, so is it really so surprising that the best friend or sister you had last year is suddenly seeming to be on a different play field? Maybe they have something going on in their own lives that is changing them and they must alter their perspective in order to cope. Also, there is the case of the person you were such good friends with ten years ago, lost contact with for the most part for whatever reason, and suddenly because of a nasty divorce, they are your best hang out buddy again. People seem to move in an out of our field of vision, but they are never really gone. It's just the path that everyone must walk often times takes us in different and unexpected places.

It is hard to see the reason behind such changes in our lives, especially the bad changes. Someone may have broken your heart and your trust. It is hard to let them back inside the castle. Hell, maybe you don't even want to, ever, because the hurt was so bad. That is okay too. I like to think so anyway. Not everyone on the planet is good for your karma. People can be deceptive and have intentions that you cannot even dream of because they are so close to you. It is hard to see the bad in such a seemingly good person. People also transition from awesome to dangerous during the course of a relationship. The best friend or soul mate you once knew and fell in love with may not be that same person today. What do you do? The answer is difficult and never the same since we are all different and so diverse in our personal mentalities. The struggle may be hard, but the end result may be that the obstacle was necessary to elevate you both at the same time to a higher state of trust. Other times, you just may have to let go...

Why am I saying all of this? It is because I am starting to sense a trend in my own personal relationships with the various people close to me in my own life. I have lost friends and gained new ones almost at the same time. Friends that I never thought would betray me or hurt me have caused the most pain I have ever felt on an emotional level. Other people have come into my life and have been that much needed ray of sunshine and given me so much perspective and they didn't even realize it. You have to pay attention to the people around you. They can help you understand yourself if you are ever feeling lost. That person you met yesterday or the co-worker you have known for a year may seemingly to all of a sudden become your new best friend. It's funny how things happen. It's called life, and it is so extremely difficult to see the path or higher purpose. We tend to be linear beings by nature, only seeing what is in front of us. We must learn to look all around us, up in the sky, down at the ground, behind us, as well as forward, for the answers do indeed dance all around us in various forms.

This month has been very important to me, not only on a personal level, but on a spiritual level as this month marks the Sabbat of Imbolc, or basically, Rebirth. The sun is rising and blanketing the earth more and more everyday clearing away the winter snow to show the new growth in the land and the coming of Spring. This is very much a metaphor for life during this time when I am seeing so much change all around me. Sometimes you just have to let go of some people in order to make room for the philosophies of others. It is not a bad thing, but a natural progression, one that we all must take part in if we are to grow as individuals.

So, when that best friend or sister lets you down, the brother moves away, the new guy at work starts paying attention to you, or the shy girl suddenly warms up to your glow, remember that the universe has a purpose. Pay attention to it, even if you may not understand it. You will be amazed at what you may discover just by listening.

HAY YOU!

So... It's been awhile, huh?

Yeah, the Capt. has been pretty busy with school and things (schoolschoolschool) so I have been neglecting you readers, and for that I am dearly sorry. But, alas, I am sure you understand, as everyone has been in school at one point in their lives, be it graduate or grade.

BUT I HAVE A TREAT!

More of my (attemptive) creative yammerings are to follow this little bit of nonsense intro as most of you may know that I am indeed a REAL CAPTAIN! Yes, I have my own crew of Pillagey Pirates and we love to have fun and things (involving rum). So, I have come up with a creation story of my Bewb Crew as  a favor to the Boson of my mate and fellow Capt., Jack Hammer (Joshua Parmer a.k.a. "Cheese"). She cornered me a couple days ago and told me of her most romantic and quite adorably cute V-Day plans for her man and asked for my help. She wished for me to compose a story of how we created our most illustrious Bewb Crew, and I most humbly obliged. Following is that story, as it actually happened. I swear it on my oath as  Pirate...

The Bewb Crew

(A Creation Story)

Once Upon a Time in the distant and fantastical world of TRF, there lived two scurvy mates who wandered the high seas looking for adventure. Each mate held his own contingency plundering and pillaging to his heart’s desire, drinking rum and enjoying the fruits of the most pleasurable company until one day, these two mates both happened upon the same island.

Twas a tall island, full of trees bearing strange fruit, Rum Fruit!! “Huzzah!” said each mate as they sailed their sloops up onto shore, one upon the North shore, and the other ran aground upon the South. The mates, respectively, ran into the fruitful trees and began to shimmy up the trunks in pursuit of the Rum Fruit, casting many a fruit upon the ground for each mate held a healthy appetite for the Rum! They ate and ate until their woes of the world disappeared and their heads began to swim of everything most fine and Piratey. Well on into the night, each mate had the most enjoyable of solo parties, each on their respective sides of the island. When night had completely consumed the day, the mate on the North shore began to make a fire, the most amazing fire you have ever seen! ‘Twould warm many a partier, tis for sure! She had plenty of driftwood and tossed some Rum Fruit upon the flame to enhance the size and aw of the bonfire, and make no mistake on its size, for it got the attention of the South mate as he saw the tip of the flame from amongst the top of the trees. “Oh no!! Not the Rum Fruit!” said he, for he believed his precious Rum Trees to be on fire. Running frantically through the forest grabbing as many fruits as he could (waste not, want not, ye know) he happened upon the strangest of scenes when he broke through the tree line on the other side. Dancing wildly around the most monstrous of fires and singly as loudly as she could, “It’s a Pirate’s Life for MEEEEE!” was this strange little pirate, drunk off her arse, having the best of pirate times all by her lonesome. The other mate was so astonished, and hammered, that he decided to join in the fun and began dancing and singing around the fire as well. For hours and hours, until the break of the dawn, did these two fools drink and sing and stumble in the sand having the most wonderful time, until finally they could dance no more and passed out on the sand with Rum Fruit spewed all around them.

When they awoke the following dusk, a most peculiar converastion ensued…
“Ahoy there!” said South. “Ye sure know how to have a right Piratey time, mate!”

“Yer not so bad yerself there, bub! We sure did have us a blast! I LOVE RUM!!” replied North.

“INDEED!! The name is Hammer.” said South, “Jack Hammer.”

“Pop.” replied North, “Pop of the Lollies of Lob. Pleasure meetin’ ya!”

“HAY!” said Hammer, “ye know what is just as good as rum?? BEWBS! HAHAHA!”

“Ye know,” Pop grinned, “ye be damn RIGHT! BEWBS ARRR AWESOME!!”

            They both laughed their most heartiest of laughs and became immediate friends.

“Ye know what?” said Hammer, “we should make our OWN Pirate Crew! We can sail the seas and party like Pirates all the year round if we had ourselves a proper crew!”

“Ye be durn right!” replied Pop. “We shall makes us a Crew so AWESOME the land has never seen it’s equal! And we shall be the BEWBIE PIRATES! Cuz we loves us some boobs!” she shouted as she jiggled hers for enjoyment and enthusiasm.

“HOORAY FOR BEWBIES!!!” They both exclaimed and began drinking more of the Rum Fruit and toasting each other for thinking of such an Awesome idea.

            After another night of drinking and celebrating, the two mates began to make their preparations for departing their island and set out to find mates for the Bewb Crew, when upon reaching their respective sloops, found that the little ships had floated away in the nights and days out into the open sea. “Oh No!” the both exclaimed. “What are we gonna do?” For as happy the two mates would have been partying on the island for the rest of their days, they wanted to adventure upon the seas and find Bewbs who likes Boobs as much as they did and drink and enjoy rum together. Almost at the same time, the mates noticed a pair giant of sea turtles swimming lazily in the island’s bay. “Light bulb!” said the two mates as they eyed the unsuspecting turtles and came up with a plan of epic proportions. Hammer prepared a whip-rope from the vines of the Rum Trees and proceeded to jump one of the turtles from behind and lasso it into submission. After many minutes of thrashing about in the shallow bay, Hammer won his victory and the turtle submitted. “HA! Yer mine now turtle! Now float me outta here so’s I can go get me crew started!” The turtle nodded and Hammer became his master. “That be a lot of unnecessary thrashing,” said Pop who sat comfortably upon the other turtles back and scratched her head as she floated easily through the bay water. “How’d you do that? Catch yours so easily? Mine was right dreadful and hard to tame! No fair!” exclaimed Hammer in frustration. Pop shrugged, “Twas easy, she likes Bewbs too! I flashed her mine and she offered me a ride! I win!” Both laughing hysterically at the feat began to sail upon the backs of their turtles together and having the most merry a time finally back upon the sea. “Hay!” said Hammer, “What’s yer turtle’s name?” “Nipply!” replied Pop, “Since she favors them so! What’s yers?” “Vengence!” said Hammer with fervor, “Since he is a nasty brute who will stare down any who comes in his way! I like it!” And they sailed off into the sun laughing heartily, drinking rum, searching for Bewbs and adventure…

            Thus is the tale of how Cap’n Jack Hammer and Cap’n Lollie Pop created the Bewb Crew and sail upon the seas of Awesome on the Nipply Vengence! YARHAR YE BEWBS!

SURRENDER YE BEWBIES!

(or give us Rum)

Rain, Rain, Write Away!

Don't you just love rainy days? With nothing better to do than sit on the couch, peruse the internet, watch Netflix and order take out (make sure to tip the guy extra for driving in the rain.) No, work, no school, homework is done for the day... Now what?

Well, fellow fantasy fans, you are in for a treat since I have nothing really better to write about than more tidbits of my short story. I have been thinking over the last week or so as to what direction I could take this blog story in and have come up with a few neat ideas. Hope you enjoy!

(For previous part of the story, you will just have to look back through the index. Mwaha! You have to read more of my stammerings if you want more story!)

Chronicles of No One


The days and nights continue to bleed into one another and I am losing all sense of time itself. I have no sunlight in which to differentiate between morn and night. The meds come twice daily, but I have lost track of which is the day dose and which belongs to night. Both enhance my dreariness... And cause the wicked dreams.


I had another one the last time I slept. More blood. Everywhere. It covered my hands, clothes, face, the floor walls and ceiling too. I looked in horror about myself and began to shriek. As the scream crecsendoed and I began to shake, I awoke to find my entire body spasming. The nurses ran in to hold me down, then came a sharp pain in my neck which must have been a needle with some sort of tranquilizer as I slipped into unconsciousness, this time dreamless. 


If only they could put me out of my misery. 
Or at least keep me under with that miracle dreamless sleep drug.
I know not why I am here.


Empty walls. Empty floors. Empty ceiling. Everything empty.
Even the nurses have their faces completely covered so I can witness nothing but white clothed figures with masks and bonnets, all looking the same. 
Empty.


My soul is empty as well. If even I have one left. 
If only I could remember who I was. Something. Anything. Any clue to who I am or what I did to end up here...


Fool.
Pitiful Fool.

I think I am hearing voices now. Maybe it is the nurses mocking me behind my cell door. However, they have never spoken before...


Fool.
You did this.
You did this to me...
YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!

"What? Who's there?"

Oh God! I'm scared. What is this?


YOU DID THIS!!
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
PITIFUL HUMAN FOOL!
(evil laughter follows the voice)


No One screams...

Pitiful Hooman. Yu belong to Me!

I would like to dedicate this Saturday to my most ferocious and feisty female of the feline fruition, Eiko!

Many of you know my wonderful cat and how awesome she indeed is. Yeah, she pretty much pwns as far as pets are concerned. She is loving, docile, inquisitive, insightful, playful, and loves to sleep. Rarely comes the time when she meets the air of discipline, as most of what she may do that is a 'no no' is so damn funny and cute that I could not imagine being mad at her.

Take today for example. She loves to drink water, especially when it is any other container other than her own water dish. Glasses left half full on the coffee table, the toilet if the seat is left up (in which I usually find her completely immersed since she fell in) and her personal favorite, the bath tub. She quite often spots the glass of water on the table, however, and immediately commences the consummation of the refreshing and nourishing liquid at her disposal as if to say, "Target acquired! Mine!" This is all well and fine in our household, since she is indeed Queen and Regent, but the predicament arises when the water level is not high enough for her to reach with her head and she proceeds to use her paw to tip the glass ever so slightly imagining that her efforts will allow her to access to the refreshment. Of course, being human that we are and most of us understanding some measure of the laws of physics and gravity, understand that once a glass is tipped does one of two things: tipped slightly and released the glass will fall back into it's normal resting position upon the surface it was previously rendered, or, tipped more than slightly and the glass will slow-mo topple onto it's side spilling in a glorious onrush the liquid it previously contained onto any and every surface in the immediate area including the table, carpet, book, and possible cell phone in the direct path of unfortunate destruction.

Eiko being Eiko, of course, thinks that the world responds to her rules and that tipping the glass with her foot will cause it to stay tilted so that she can drink the contents. As many times as she has done this and the rules in her mind have proven to be false, she never fails to continue to test the laws of the world in which she lives almost as if commanding said glass full of delicious water, "You will stay put..." like a Jedi. Alas, the Force is not as strong with her as she believes, hence the glass continues to fall over.

All the while, I sit idly by on the couch reading St. Augustine's Confessions (for homework, not interest I assure you) and am enthralled by her act, as let's face it, it is a hell of a lot more interesting and entertaining than anything I was doing for the previous hour.

Long story short, she can't reach the water in my cup, proceeds to stick her foot in it, knocks it over, and I laugh uncontrollably. *squeeegiggle*

Yeah, my cat is adoringly awesome. It's almost as if she perceives my plight on some type of cat/human boredom wavelength and attempts to make a funny to cheer me up by being mischievous. To prove my hypothesis, it can be stated that as I am now writing this blog post and quite immensely enjoying myself, she is sleeping soundly on the other end of the couch with a smug satisfactory thought of, "My work here is done. You are no longer bored. You're welcome hooman of mine."

I've said it before and shall say it again, it's the little things. :)

New Title!

As some of you (all of you rather) may have noticed that I have changed the title and URL of my blog. The more I get into blogging, the more things will change and improve. I felt that the original title of "365 Days..." would get too monotonous after a while since the main focus of the title was to record something different I do everyday in my life. While my life is diverse and interestingly awesome, I have come to realize that such is not so much the case when I start school again. It becomes much of the same routine: Wake-up, Yoga, eat, nap, school (or work), eat again, homework, sleep. Trying to find 366 different things concerning my daily actions would have become quite boring I find. So!! Instead of driving away readers with the same old same old, I will spice things up with a twisted tale of fantasy in addition to awesome daily activities and findings that I come across. I am after all, striving to be a creative writer, so I will give you some insights as to how my brain works. Hence, the Lilliputians.

Many of you may be familiar with Jonathan Swift's epic tale Gulliver's Travels in which a man gets shipwrecked several times and goes on all kinds of crazy adventures with the most astounding people. Gulliver's first journey involves my favorite little people, the Lilliputians!

You ever hear of the people who are not so mentally sound that they hear "voices" in their heads? Well, I like to refer to mine as Lilliputians. That is not to say that I am not mentally sound myself, I just like to be a little fantastical with my everyday as otherwise it would seem quite boring and dull. We all need a little fantasy in our lives, otherwise the world would just plain suck. Everyone hears voices, whether or not we admit to it is a different story. At least mine are awesome, is all I can say. In an effort to commemorate these tiny voices that are responsible for my wild tales that are the inspiration for my work, this blog shall now be dedicated to them!

Here is an excerpt from a short story I am working on starting... Now!

 I think I am going out of my mind. I can't seem to focus on anything but the sharp pains that flog my temples and cause me to writhe on the floor uncontrollably. I have no idea how or when this started. All I know is the pain. 
I get flashes of memories from when I was a child, but no more. I cannot even remember my own name. It is as if the pain has taken bits and pieces of my life away from me, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. 
The meds help. Help me sleep rather. Otherwise I would surely die of exhaustion as the pain leads into insomnia. The sleep is not dreamless, however. Oh, if only it was. I get flashes of the most horrible things. Blood. 
Everywhere.
It is all I see and all I can touch and smell when I am in my comatose dreams. I do not know if being awake is any better because then comes the pain. I try to write to calm my mind, but I find it difficult to write about anything other than my misfortune. 
Help me.
Someone.
Anyone...
I fear the pain will consume what is left of me and I have no idea how I even ended up like this. Did something happen to me? Did I hurt someone to deserve this? Do I deserve this? I must since no one comes to visit me in this place. I have no friends or family that I can remember. My childhood flashes are more like glimpses of the world and what it must look like outside of this place. Rocks, trees, grass. I have no such luxuries any longer. I am caged, both inside and out. If only I could see the sun... maybe it would give me comfort to know that I am still alive and can be saved, for I fear that I am in hell and am suffering for something I did in my life, something horrible.
Pain.
Blood.
No memory.