Monday, July 30, 2012

Chronicles of No One: Part Three



Rasping. Wheezing. Ugly, horrid sounds escape my mouth as I exhale.
Another Lost Dream.

More blood. More violence. Shadows of monster-like figures play across my still dazed and sleep weary mind.
Clues. The images must be clues. They make dream drugs, but can they control your dreams? I am beginning to toy with such an idea. Sitting in a closed cell with no light or sense of time will do that to you.
Drive you crazy.

 At first, the Whites didn't seem to be interested in my dreams, or anything else besides keeping me lucid and plugged full of prescription cocktails. But, every time I wake, more nurses in white come running in to dope me at the first sign of my body stirring.
The drugs are both torture and a blessing. The more intense my physical reaction to my dreams, the more tranq must be in that needle. When I seem to find peace absent the dreams, the drugs they bring in daily act as an agent, sneaking into my mind and slowly bringing the demons that plague my subconscious to a rolling boil until I spill over the edge, my body writhing in pain.
It must be a system of control. Bring her to the breaking point… but don’t let her body fail. Give her enough rest to recover before starting the process all over again.
Fuck this hell.

(A voice whispers mockingly...)
Bitch. You get what you deserve. Fucking murderous cunt.

Oh yeah, did I mention I am also insane?? I hear voices when I am awake. They scare the shit out of me to be frankly honest. Calling me horrible names, speaking of unthinkable terrors. Picking at the borders of my sanity.
They talk directly to me. Taunting. Evil.
There must be a purpose to all of this.
I must get out of here. There has to be a way…

(No One begins to sob angrily. Clenching her fists into tight balls of fury she begins to scream against the walls of her confine.)
“FUCKTHISPLACEANDFUCKYOU!!!!! PIECE OF SHIT HELLHOLE WITH YOUR PIECE OF SHIT VOICES!!!!!
FUUUUUUUCKK!!!!”
 

(Nurses rush in and manage to pin No One down and restrain her to the bed. A female nurse with Red hair peeking out from under her cap produces a needle from her pocket and brashly administers the drug to No One’s neck. The hysterics immediately lose sway as the drugs take effect.
Just as No One is about to drift off into unconsciousness, the unknown voice pipes in for a lullaby...)

More drugs for the crazy girl. Always more drugs.
Sleep tight, little bitch! I’ll be seeing you soon…


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Inspiration

Don't you just love the long awaited epiphany feeling after weeks of mind blocks? I sure do! I am also pretty sure that most people do not suffer from this episode quite as much as I do, as most people are not trying to accomplish the next to impossible task of becoming a writer... a successful one of course.

Nonetheless, I have been working on a short story now for the past few months and have been having a hard time trying to figure out the ending direction. I always had a thought in mind, but how to execute it effectively has eluded me for some time now. Thanks to my dreams returning to their wonderfully inspirational and fantastical state, I now have the mechanics to finish it. YAY!

"Chronicles of No One" was a spur of the moment writing exercise that included simply me sitting down with a blank canvas and a keyboard - OKGO! The first excerpt turned out quite well, flowing along with ease. The second excerpt went pretty well also, but left more questions as to how I would end the durn thing... Hrrmmm.

Like most writers (I would assume, since I know so few) I have my stories constantly stewing in the back of my mind, ready to be brought up to the front lines at a moments notice. The main aspect being my novel that I have been working on for the past two years now (Alyce!) and this short story that began as a let's-play-around-with-writing-and-see-what-comes-out exercise. I have notes on both and add to them whenever I get any fleeting moment of inspiration. Such inspiration can come from literally anywhere: dreams, movies, TV shows, conversations, people watching, animals... The list is endless. Although, my favorite soup from which I pull ideas is from the ramblings of my subconscious.

Usually my dreams are an endless source of inspiration, full of fantasy and surreal events. Lately, I have to admit, this has not been the case, and it has left me utterly devastated. For almost 6 solid weeks, every night, my dreams have been polluted with horrible, utterly horrible Nightmares. Now, anyone who knows me on a personal level knows that I rarely ever have bad dreams. Rarely as in almost Never. But, something has been infiltrating and plaguing my mind to cause my dreams to take a turn for the worst, leaving my writing and my persona in a state of desolation.

Oddly enough, however, this paranoid state I have experienced very closely resembles the protagonist in "Chronicles" as No One constantly has nightmares, all consuming ones, that has resulted in her lost identity. Extremely weird parallel... {Found it!} I am sure the close correlation between myself and one of my protagonists was completely coincidental, but, I will take what I can get. As a result of my own personal plight, I now have a solid direction in which to take my story to conclusion. It is odd how the universe works, quite odd indeed. I am not saying in any way that this short story is a major work from the up and coming Lauren Fae, as it will probably remain an exercise, a test, in which I better myself as a writer. However, I am a firm believer in silver linings, no matter how small.

While the case of my personal nightmare advent is still open and under investigation, I am quite confident to say that "Chronicles" will be completed very soon and available for your reading pleasure. Stay tuned!